I'm surpised that I remembered the password

I might be thinking about maybe posting to this again someday maybe.

a 'bend over" in the yard is sufficient to scare me off

I apologize most insincerely for the lack of fresh posts around here. I've been working on formulating what I'm calling the law of cave canem. I was wondering how much time elapsed between the introduction of the first "Beware of Dog" sign and the first person without a dog to put one up, and I was thinking that, now, that elapsed time would be damn close to zero. So we could talk about the "cave canem" period when discussing the potential for hackery, either helpful or harmful, on any new idea.
It's not really a law, I guess, more of a guiding principle sort of thing, or just a tendency. A corollary to Manifest Destiny? Anyway, it seems there's something uniquely American about it.

Also, it must really piss off burglars.

So you see why I wouldn't bother posting.

how I imagine it went down

The setting: a meeting between Sarah Palin and a couple McCain stooges, to discuss running as McCain's VP.

SP: Gee guys, I don't know. I'm awfully busy-- I've got these kids, one with special needs, and I understand you heard about my slutty daughter? I'm just not sure if there's room in my life for Vice Presidential duties. And what if something happened to John? Then I'd be President! Right?

McCain Stooge One: (turns to McCain Stooge Two)She, um, seems to think...

MS2: Right. You want me to tell her, or should I?

MS1: I bought lunch. You tell her.

MS2: (to SP) You know we're not gonna win, right?

it's getting so hot I'm worried about my thermometer

Admittedly, discussion of "the economy" and how it's supposed to work put a dull ache behind my eyeballs, so I don't pretend to know what this means:

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said Friday the financial crisis that has pounded the country — coupled with higher inflation — is taking a toll on the economy and poses a major challenge to Fed policymakers as they try to restore stability.

But That sounds a little like crying over the death of your canary as the miners go marching down the mineshaft, no?

you always find these laying around after Pink Floyd concerts

And this would be the best day the kids at the children's home would ever remember.

off to a good start

I'm rooting for this story to show up in News of the Weird:

A Batavia man was arrested on his wedding night after police realized that an order of protection obtained against him by his bride was still in effect.


In case you're thinking, "How stupid can this guy be?", well, this stupid:

When police arrived, they found Cole in an altercation with a guest over a chair.

I'm not sure if this means he was fighting with a guest while hovering over the chair, Crouching Tiger-like. I hope so.

Free?! You sure I can't give you something?

You forgot "slingshot and rabbit's foot".